For many years, LifeLine had an office in Hackney. Hackney felt different to the other parts of East London where I lived and worked—people talked to you, whether on the bus or train, or just walking down the street. You could find yourself in the most interesting conversations, seemingly at random. It had a great sense of community.
I was in Hackney again last week and it’s been transformed. No-one talks anymore—they just watch their phones. I hear it’s the same in the gym—it used to be a place to connect with people but now they’re just connected to their phones.
Over Christmas, we got together with friends who we used to see multiple times a week before they moved away. All in all, there were ten adults in the dining room and sixteen young people in the lounge. We were seeing them for the first time in four months and wouldn’t be seeing them again for about another six. During the evening, I walked into the lounge and found all the young people on their phones. Our devices are now blocking out community—in Hackney, in gyms, and in my lounge!
Shared spaces should bring us together, not isolate us further.
This realisation mirrors the growing concern about young people and their relationship with technology. While social media, and smartphones in general, provide incredible opportunities to stay connected, they can also lead to addiction, poor sleep, and mental health struggles. How do we strike a balance that ensures young people remain connected to their communities without losing themselves to their screens?
The cost of constant connection
I’m sure it’s an image you’re quite familiar with—a family sharing the same house yet each in separate rooms, glued to their own device. Phones, once tools for connection, have become security blankets. They reduce attention spans, replace shared moments with solitary scrolling, and make people feel alone even in a crowd. Similarly, gaming consoles, once a way to bond side-by-side, now often cater to single players, further deepening isolation.
Social media adds to these challenges. Algorithms designed to keep users engaged often trap young people in echo chambers, reinforcing their views rather than broadening their perspectives. For some, platforms like Instagram create harmful cycles of comparison, leading to anxiety and low self-esteem. Young minds, overwhelmed by endless information, can become cynical, fatigued, and disconnected.
The impact on mental health
The link between screen time and mental health is undeniable. Between 2010 and 2015, when smartphones became common in households, suicide rates among 10-to-14-year-olds in the UK rose dramatically: by 167% for girls and 92% for boys. Self-harm among teenage girls increased by 78%, and anxiety diagnoses among young adults soared by 92%.
As Jonathan Haidt explains in The Anxious Generation, technology is not neutral. Social media harms girls the most, fostering insecurity through relentless comparison. For boys, video games and explicit online content often lead to addiction and disengagement from real life. These platforms are designed to exploit psychological vulnerabilities during critical stages of brain development, with devastating consequences.
A path toward balance
So, how can we help young people navigate this digital world without losing touch with the real one? It starts with simple, intentional steps:
- Parental awareness: Parents play a key role in setting boundaries. Limiting apps, enforcing screen time caps, or returning to so-called dumbphones that lack modern apps like social media can create healthier habits.
- Screen-free periods: Schools and families can experiment with “device fasts,” encouraging time for activities like sports, art, or simply spending time outdoors.
- Positive shared experiences: Watching a show together instead of alone or playing cooperative games can foster connection and create lasting memories.
- Role modelling: Adults must examine their own habits. If we’re constantly on our phones, how can we expect young people to prioritise real-life interactions?
Some countries have taken bold steps. China, for instance, has introduced national limits on internet use for young people. While such measures may not work everywhere, they highlight the importance of boundaries and intentional use of technology.
Building a healthier future
Technology is, of course, not going to go away, and we mustn’t see it as inherently bad. But we must ensure that it exists to serves us and not the other way around. By fostering environments where young people can thrive, both online and offline, we can help them build resilience, confidence, and a deeper sense of connection.
It’s time to reimagine our shared spaces—whether at home, in schools, or in the community—as places where relationships take precedence over screens. Let’s model what it means to look up, reach out, and engage with the world around us. Together, we can create a world where young people stay connected without losing their wellbeing.