This month, we’d like to introduce Sunita, who first came to us two years ago as a Parent Champion with our Champions Support Network, providing guidance to parents and carers. She’s now a Support Worker, assisting and encouraging other Parent Champions with their mentoring.
Where did you grow up?
It’s a long story. My mother and father relocated my family from Hackney to Newham to give me and my two brothers a better life with better living conditions. There was less crime in the new area but Newham wasn’t as ethnically mixed and integrated as Hackney was. I missed that a lot and I also missed my friends.
I had my brothers though—but this, of course, turned me into a bit of a tomboy. Maybe if I had sisters instead, I might have turned out less determined. At the same time, my brothers taught me how to fend for myself.
Did you make new friends?
After living in Newham for just over a year, I had this good friend at school. We were very close and she shared with me about a lot of stuff going on in her life—she had serious family problems. And the way she coped with it was she started drinking as a form of self-medication.
One day, during lunch break, she gave me a sip of her drink. It was literally my first drink ever. But when we got back to school, a teacher smelt the alcohol on my breath. I was reported to the head and this resulted in me being assigned a school counsellor.
The way counselling sessions were held really surprised me; they were so informal and relaxed. The counsellor’s job was to sit there calmly and quietly, listen and then offer advice. That day something clicked in my head—it made me wonder, “Is this is something I could do?”
What was the most challenging thing you went through?
When I was 16, in distant India—completely unbeknown to me—my grandmother had come up with a plan that would forever change my life. She had found what she thought was the perfect man for me. He was from a small village and everything about him seemed like he would make a good husband. All I had to do was meet with him and his family and my future would be “safe and secure”.
How did that make you feel?
There’s a saying about choosing a marriage partner—”it’s better to stay single and wait for the one that makes sense then to marry someone that makes absolutely no sense”.
That’s exactly how I felt—I even already had a boyfriend. I’m sure my grandmother made a good choice but I wanted it to be my choice and I wanted it to make sense for me. So I said no. And, for the sake of not driving my family apart, I decided to move away from home soon after.
Suddenly, at just 16, I was alone. All my friends had busy lives and were already in further education. And here I was, with no solid plans or money. It was a little bit like when I first moved to Newham, except this time I had no family to turn to.
How did you survive?
After I left the family home, the first thing I did was ring up my boyfriend and asked if I could stay the night.
He was Angolan-Portuguese. He’d asked his mum if I could stay and she said yes. House rules were that I had to share a bedroom with his mum. And I felt like part of his family.
My boyfriend ended up becoming the father of my child. It ended up not working out though. But I still see his mum and sisters. We’ll always be family.
What happened after that?
Okay, flash forward—I’m now a mum with three kids living in a shelter. I had this urge to do or find something new.
I didn’t have a plan but I remembered my school counselling sessions and how back then I wanted to be a youth worker.
Up until now, I’d only ever worked in supermarkets and that did nothing for me. I wanted to do something that gave me a purpose in life.
Did you find that purpose?
Once I got my own place and the kids were settled in their schools, I enrolled on a community worker course. After I got my diploma, I worked on a number of programmes for different charities. I felt good about what I was doing.
Two years ago, I joined LifeLine’s Champion Support Network as a Parent Champion. I loved being a mentor and, now I’m supporting other mentors, it’s great. All the experiences I’ve gone through have helped me become a better Support Worker.
What drew you to LifeLine?
What LifeLine offers to people is amazing. I never knew this kind of help existed.
What was your first day at LifeLine like?
It felt like I was meeting lots of great people. I love my role and talking to lots of parents and carers.
What are the first things you think about in the morning?
Usually my kids and work, planning things for the day in my head.
What is the one thing nobody knows about you?
I’m very caring, sometimes a bit too much.
What plans do you have for the future?
I want to stay at LifeLine. After that that I don’t really know, but I do love helping people and giving advice.
